Sunday, September 30, 2012

100 Words a Day 56

“The sleep of Reason produces monsters.”

I had spent most of the semester being bored in my art history class, then I heard those words. They were enough to get me to forget about why I was stuck in this stupid class in the first place, Jenna. We were supposed to take this class together; she dumped me the day before the drop date.

Being a little out of sorts, I missed the drop date and was stuck in a boring class, previous sentence excepted of course, in a room that was too warm and devoid of any cute girls.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

100 Words a Day 55

Pale moonbeams illuminated the fog spiraling around their legs, but did little to illuminate the moor. As they staggered on, their feet sank into the spongy ground, as though it were trying to impede their escape. The tall marsh grass was rough against their skin, which peeked through tears in their pants.

Their hearts beat faster at a strange noise in the distance. Their tired breathing became ragged and raspy as they pushed themselves out of a trudge and into a wobbly trot.

They noticed the mists rising up around them, now up to their waists, but they never slowed.

100 Words a Day 54

“Ah shit,” Matt said as the death scream issued forth from the TV. “How do you beat that fucker?”

“Shit if I know,” Doug said, getting up. “I’m gonna get a pop. You want something?”

“Uh, sure,” Matt said, interlacing his fingers and stretching out, “a coke would be great.”

His knuckles cracked and he let out a sigh before sinking back into the couch. His brow was furrowed as he slouched, waiting for Doug to return. He reflected on how they were going to get past the Guardian.

The damn thing just wouldn’t die! Nothing seemed to hurt it.

Friday, September 28, 2012

100 Words a Day 53

The penguin’s name was Perky. Instead of a forward-pointing beak, Perky had an upward-pointing one that was losing its yellow coloring and beginning to show the stitching underneath. His wings hung unevenly at his sides; one had almost been torn off and hadn’t been sewn back on properly. He never could use it the same. A white film had begun to obscure the black of eyes, blinding him. He was an old penguin, but he measured his age not in years. Rather he measured it in things like afternoon naps, walks in the park, and trips to the candy shop.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

100 Words a Day 52

Jack was in line, album in hand, all he had to do was ensure she was his cashier. He feigned looking at the clearance albums and waved  people past until he heard the sound of her voice.

“Next,” she called, waving.

He hurried over to her register, placing his cd on the counter.

“I like your Go Kart Mozart pin,” he said.

“Thanks!” she replied smiling, her pink hair bouncing slightly. “Did you see they’re having a Kickstarter to go on tour?”

“No, but I’ll definitely be giving.”

“That’s so cool of you!”

“Maybe we could go see them together.”

Go Kart Mozart is in fact having a Kickstarter to go on tour. You can give here:

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

100 Words a Day 51

It had been a long journey through cold mountains, but that was far from everyone's minds. There was a feast, or what passed for one now, laid out before them. Dirty camping plates were filled with beef, rice, and fruit. During the journey over the mountains, they survived on pork jerky and root vegetables, usually cold. After days of hard chewing, the beef was unbelievably tender and the fruit marvelously soft. And the flavor! Each swore that it was the best meal they could remember eating, even though it would have been considered pretty standard fare just a decade ago.

Monday, September 24, 2012

100 Words a Day 50

“Just ten more minutes,” Chris sighed to himself.

“I feel your pain,” Christina said, “I can’t wait to get out of here.”

“Yeah,” Chris said, typing with all the interest he could muster.

Their supervisor was pacing back and forth down the aisle, looking over everyone’s shoulder.

Chris and Christina fell silent as he passed by.

“Ugh, I wonder how he feels knowing everyone loathes him so,” Christina said.

“I wonder how he can live with himself,” Chris said.

“I bet he lives in a small apartment by himself, dreaming up ways to make our lives miserable,” Jeff chimed in.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

100 Words a Day 49

They saw a pair of legs sticking out from behind the large potted plant. As they neared they realized it was an old woman.

“Are you okay?” he asked, hurrying over.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” the old lady said “I just took a fall.”

“Do you need a doctor?”

“No, no, no, I’ll be fine. I just need a hand up.”

“Okay,” he said, grabbing her arms, “one, two, three, up.”

The woman heaved herself up with the aid of the man, nearly collapsing as she put weight on her right foot.

“I must have hurt my foot when I fell.”

Saturday, September 22, 2012

100 Words a Day 48

“I wish I wasn’t stuck at home,” Donald said with a sigh.

“So why don’t you go out?” his sister asked.

“With who? There’s no one for me to go out with. Everyone is already busy.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

“Well, I guess you should call them and find out if they really are busy,” she said with a look.

“They are all busy. They are all already out and doing things.”

“Nothing is stopping you from going out, Donald.”

“How will I get to where they are? I don’t have a car.”

“Take the bus.”

Friday, September 21, 2012

100 Words a Day 47

"Alright, to start things off, I want everyone to stand up, say their name, and something about themselves. Starting with you," she said pointing.

The chubby young man stood, saying: "My name is Augustus and I have a dog.”

“Heh, he looks just like that kid from Willy Wonka,” a girl in the back whispered.

“Yeah, a real butterball,” her friend replied.

A homely girl stood next, “My name is Veronica; I do gymnastics.”

“Maybe they could get together,” the first whisperer said.

“She could help him lose weight and he could kiss her.”

“Nobody else will ever want to.”

Thursday, September 20, 2012

100 Words a Day 46

“Thanks for coming today, Harry,” the interviewer said.

“Thanks for taking the time to interview me,” Harry replied, taking a seat.

“So, tell me about your experience at Paper Co.”

“Well,” Harry began, gearing up to deliver his well-rehearsed speech,­ “I was responsible for cold calling distributors and trying to get them to carry our paper products.”

“Okay, and what was the hardest part about that?”

“Hm, definitely having people just hang up on me, usually angrily. It made it hard to keep my spirits up day after day.”

“I can imagine. How did you deal with that?” he asked.

100 Words a Day 45

“You’re the only one who understands me, Rover,” the boy said to the dog.

The dog just stared at him.

“My parents don’t understand; I don’t care about wearing tie to work,” he said, while scratching the dog’s ear.

The dog panted with a lolling tongue, but made no other response to the boy’s statement.

“I’m gonna be a Rock n’ Roll singer,” the boy said matter-of-factly, looking down at the dog as he finished.

Rover was on the floor, looking like he wanted to be pet.

“That’s what I love about you Rover, no judgment.”

The dog stayed quiet.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

100 Words a Day 44

“I’m not trying to sell you anything.”

“I’m on the Do Not Call list! I told them not to keep calling me.”

“Ma’am, I am calling from a Market Research company.”

“I want my name off the call list! I don’t want any more calls from you people.”

“Ma’am, I’m trying to give you money for your opinions.”

“My opinions? This is just a trick to get me to buy something!”

“No it isn’t ma’am. I am from a market research company. I am trying to give you money.”

“Give me money! You people are just a big, damn scam!”

Monday, September 17, 2012

100 Words a Day 43

“Sean, things haven’t been working out.”

“What do you mean, Felicity?” he said, worried.

“Just that, Sean!” she said, her eyes red and teary, “It’s just not working out,” her voice trailed into silence.

Sean stood mute, not knowing what to say.

“Say something Sean. Don’t you have anything to say?”

“What can I say Felicity? What will change your mind?”

Felicity thought before speaking:

“No Sean.”

Sean simply stood, not speaking for some time. When he finally opened his mouth, no words emerged and he merely closed it again, shaking his head.

Felicity looked at Sean, who stood unreadable.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

100 Words a Day 42

Before getting into the 100 Words a Day, let me apologize for the sporadic nature of posts over the last two weeks; I have been without internet.

More importantly, I was just published here:

“So, uh, Sherri, what do you do besides work?” Jack asked.

“Uh, hm, well,” Sherri said nervously, “nothing really. I hang out and watch movies I guess.”

“Oh…That’s cool.” Jack fell silent, unsure what open ended question he could ask after that.

They pushed their food around their plates for a few minutes before Jack said:

“What kind of movies do you like?”

“Uh, all kinds I guess,” Sherri said, and after a pause, continued “what do you do other than work Jack?”

“Oh,” Jack said, brightening up, “I write LOTR fan fiction and maintain a LOTR fan fiction website.”

100 Words a Day 41

The couple’s discussion was interrupted by the arrival of their server:

“Hi, my name’s April. I’ll be your server today. Can I get you guys anything to drink?”

“I’ll have an iced tea please,” the man said.

“Diet coke for me,” said the woman.

“Okay, and do you know what you want to eat or do you need a little more time?”

“I think we’re ready,” the man said, drawing out the last word as he looked across the table at the woman.

“Yes,” the woman said, answering his unspoken question, “we’ll start with the prosciutto sampler plate with breadsticks.”

100 Words a Day 40

“Can I help you?” the woman said.

“Uh, yeah,” the young man replied, “I’m looking for something for my girlfriend.”

“Okay. Do you know her size?”

“Um, no, but I brought a few pictures of her. Would that help?” He asked, handing the saleswoman some photos.

“Yeah, tha’d help a lot actually. Are these the sort of outfits she wears normally?”


“Well,” she said, “what do you think about something like this?” leading him over to one rack.

“Uh,” he said, looking around, suddenly aware that he was the only man in the store. “Yeah, uh that looks good.”

100 Words a Day 39

“The child and I color red.”

“Wha’d you say, man?”

“The child and I color red.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You will see; everyone will see, the color red.”

“What the fuck you talkin’ ‘bout, man?”

The disheveled looking man sat up from on the bed and looked across the room at his cellmate, his disturbed eyes boring into the petty thief.

“I said: The child and I color red,” the man jumped to his feet.

“You are one crazy son of a bitch.”

“Yes, yes I am. But that doesn’t change the fact that I will paint red.”

100 Words a Day 38

“I’m so happy I have the internet!”

“Why? So you can see what lame things people are doing on Facebook?”

“No, I can update my blog. Duh!”

“Your blog? Nobody reads that thing. Who cares if you write one hundred words a day about some story? I mean, you don’t get to find out how it ends, or where it began.”

“That’s not the point. The point is to write the hundred words. If you have too many or too few you have to figure out how to jiggle everything together.”

“It’s still lame.”
“That’s not what your mom said.”

Friday, September 14, 2012

100 Words a Day 37

“You need to feed the snake,” he scolded, “he hasn’t eaten in over two weeks.”

“I’ll feed him tonight.”

“You should feed him today, this afternoon. You aren’t doing anything.”

“I’ll feed him tonight. I’m so tired. I need to nap.”

“How would you feel if I said that I wasn’t going to feed you anymore because I was too lazy?”

“I’d be sad.”

“How do you think the poor snake feels? At least you could whine about it or make your own food. Poor Nikki can’t do that. All he can do is slither around his cage in impotence.”

100 Words a Day 36

“You’re in a lot of trouble young man,” Sister Hooker said.

“I’ve had to do a lot of disciplining in my time at St. Mary’s, but never have I had to devise a punishment for someone with such an extensive collection of pornographic material.”

“Sister Hooker, it’s not mine. I swear.”

“Don’t play innocent boy, the Lord can see through your lies, so can I. It will just be worse for you in the end.”

“I didn’t do it sister,” the boy cried, tears welling in his eyes as the sister brought the paddle out.

“Come here and bend over.”

Sunday, September 9, 2012

100 Words a Day 35

They sat silently, eating their food and listening to the conversations going on around them.

“I don’t know if I should take this job. It’s so such a long commute and it’s not that much more money.”

“Yeah, but isn’t there a lot more potential for growth?”

I suppose, but…” the rest of the sentence was lost in a clatter of plates.

The siren of an ambulance passed by the restaurant.

“I’ve got this funny spot on my butt; I’m thinking of going to the doctor about it.”

“Ew, no one at the restaurant wants to hear about it, Jack.”

100 Words a Day 34

“The hardest part about the temple so far has been carrying the water.”

“It’s true what they say then?”

“Yes brother, every day up before dawn and down to the well with the heavy, spikey buckets. We fill them up and carry them, arms out so we don’t get stabbed.”

“Wow, what happens if someone can’t hold the bucket up?”

“They go to the pagoda forest I guess.”

“That’s a bitter way to treat your novices.”

“Yes brother, but Kung Fu is a harsh and greedy mistress.”

“Is it worth it?”

“It’s not a price you think about before paying.”

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Word of the Day 33

“I hate this job,” Greg said.

“Me too,” Dom responded.

“I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m finally getting interviews you know. Now that I actually have a job, even it is this shitty one.”

“Really? That’s weird,” Dom replied before both fell silent as the door to the back room opened and their boss walked in.

“So yeah…” their boss began, both Dom and Greg groaned inwardly, it was going to be like the scene in Office Space

“It would be a big favor to me if you guys could stay late and get that project finished.”

Word of the Day 32

“What can I help you with today?”

“I need to take some money out.”

“Do you have your atm card?”

Steve shifted uncomfortably, “well, you see. My dog ate it.”

“Really?” the teller responded with a mixture of amusement and surprise.

“Yeah, I know it’s the most first grade response ever to a question like that, but it’s the truth,” he said, shrugging his shoulders and his mouth.

“It’s not the wildest thing I’ve heard,” the clerk said before resuming a more professional tone, “I’ll need some information from you to access your account.”

“I have it all with me.”

100 Words a Day 31

“So, are you going to come home with me or what baby?”

“I already told you no,” she said rolling her eyes. “What didn’t you get?”

“Aw don’t be like that baby, you’re so beautiful, don’t let me sleep in a cold bed tonight,” he said with a hint of a drunken slur.

“Maybe you should light yourself on fire, asshole. That’d keep you plenty warm tonight.”

“I want you to light my fire baby. Just like Jim Morrison. They call me Mr. Mojo Risin, I bet you’d love to know why.”

“Gross. I’d rather be shot in the face.”

100 Words a Day 30

“Dude, your writing is so pretentious sometimes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Susurrate, what the hell kind of word is that?”

“First off, it comes from Spanish. It means to whisper. Second, it’s got some good S sounds. Third, have you ever heard the noise trees make? It’s like a hiss, but not exactly. So really, susurrate is a great choice.”


“It’s not my fault you have the same level of vocabulary as your students.”

“But it is your fault that you pick big words that people don’t know.”

“I just have a big vocab. I read a lot.”

Monday, September 3, 2012

100 Words a Day 29

“Isn’t it beautiful up here, above the clouds?”

“Yes,” she agreed, wrapping herself around his arm and putting her head on his shoulder, “The buildings look like they are floating on the clouds.”

“Yeah, what a city…” he agreed resting his head on hers.

“It’s like that one area in Chrono Trigger.”

“Zeal?” she suggested.

“Yeah, that one, except without the overt racism and the magical catastrophe,” he said.

“Heh, that would sure shake things up, a magical catastrophe.”

“I know, right?”

“Nerds,” someone behind them muttered.

“I bet that guy would be Dalton.”

“Totally,” she agreed with a giggle.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

100 Words a Day 28

“I’ve never had Korean food,” Paul said.

“You’ll love it, all guy food,” Paulina said, “Gary always wants to go there.”

“What if I don’t? What will I do? I want Joanniffer to like me.”

“Jesus, Paul,” Paulina exclaimed, throwing her arms up in exasperation, “if she doesn’t like you because you don’t like Korean food, is she really the kind of girl you want to date?”

“Well no, but…”

“Then why are you bothering me with this?”

“I want to impress her. I really want her to like me!”

“Then don’t be weird like this when you are there.”

100 Words a Day 27

The two men stared at each other from across the sandy pit.

“I’ve waited a long time for this Shao. I’ve brought my father’s sword to have my revenge.”

“Ha, your father was a weak man with a weak sword, and his son is just the same. Do you take comfort in the fact that after you die today no one else in your bloodline will have to suffer the humiliation of defeat?”

“The only one suffering the humiliation of defeat today is you Shao. Have you made peace with heaven?”

“Peace is an idea for fools, like your father.”